Pezberry and Klaine Drabbles and Such
by SantanaSnix
Summary: A collaboration with LittleMadHattr on the trials and tribulations of after college life and downright fun partying of Pezberry and Klaine. Lots of Humor and Fluff...
1. Chapter 1 22

_First Chapter Written By LIttleMadHattr_

_~*22*~_

You know how stories usually start out with "the night was still young…" or "once upon a time..."? Yeah, stories like that are either sinister or have some horrible meaning to them.  
Which is why we're not using them here.  
Skip back, pretend I didn't say that.  
It started with a call, early in the afternoon. Blaine had moved in with Rachel, Santana and I after his own graduation from Lima and also attended the Berry-Lopez wedding as the best man on Rachel's side.

Quite shocking if you ask me. Still can't believe those girls were able to find harmony with each other of all people.

After graduating from NYADA, I had been receiving some calls. People like my talents I guess. They wanted to know about an article I had been writing on my experience about school and fashion and stuff like that. I didn't even know Izzy or her people would be interested in knowing about that. I mean, it's not really Vogue material, right? Anyway.  
This wasn't them. Or even Izzy herself.  
"Kurt Hummel," I answered, as I normally did, chewing on the tip of my index finger in slight nervousness. I didn't even bother with caller I.D anymore. The fact that _Santana_ was calling made me question why I decided against caller I.D in the first place and made me question what exactly was happening in that weird psyche of hers.  
"Hey, Lady Lips. You polished tonight, right?" Always quick with her immediate, snarky, bitchy comment before even attempting to state her business for using my number.  
"Listen, I just scored us all free seats here for a smokin' assistant manager promotion party. In other words, I scored. You guys get to drink free liquor 'til you drop." And you could just taste the sass on you own tongue. Bluh.  
"Yeah, okay," I replied, walking to where Rachel was, fixing up her trophy shelf. I made a sort of gesture before mouthing 'alcohol', and she nodded. A little too enthusiasticly. This made me raise a brow in slight wonder, before shaking it off and looking to Blaine. He had been standing beside me, having heard the conversation, and gave me a thumbs up.  
"Looks like everyone is willing. When is it?"  
"Now. Like, right now," and I heard her pull away from the phone and shout something along the lines of 'hookers' and 'whiskey'. "Yep. So, get your little asses down here as soon as you can, because it's going to be _wild_,"

Something to never underestimate when Santana Lopez tells you – when it's going to be wild. Because honestly it was and it was unsanitary and nasty all at the same time I mean I was pretty sure half of these people didn't even work at Coyote Ugly.  
Or were even able to drink, for that matter.  
Rachel and Santana had found us a nice little booth to squeeze into, cuddling up with Blaine and I on the opposing side.  
They were engrossed into some conversation about Paula Abdul, which only made me remember that time that the crazy Lopez stumbled into NYADA like a sneaky witch and performed for Brody in a rather provocative way what with her motions and all the other women. If you didn't know what she was really up to, you might've thought she was trying to seduce the poor guy.  
Nobody wants to be seduced by Santana Lopez. Seriously, you might think you do, but you don't. The fact she can even wedge herself into Rachel's small, tight pants is a miracle in itself.

Blaine was twirling his finger around the mouth of the cup that contained his own, third shot of whiskey. He looked already a little frazzled and that kind of really worried me because the last time he had drank was when we were in high school and-  
Actually no let's not remember that right now.

I found myself zoned out, slowly remembering a year back when the pair of women across from me finally sealed the deal and hopped on their merry way of married life. Blaine and I had been packing to move out when they announced that we could stay. Santana had given me a rather hilarious wink, perhaps from her own levels of intoxication, and the stumbled away to her room with Rachel on her hip.  
So we never did.  
But Coyote Ugly stunk oh my God it does what is that smell?  
Curiously I looked around to find the source of the foul odor that was a weird concoction of teenage angst, hard liquor, and vomit just to find a boy leaned over the pool table, passed out, and drunk.  
Okay. So, I was right. These were probably poor high schoolers that Santana let in on the street to get wasted and make bad choices.

"Kurt, aren't you going to drink?" I heard Rachel ask, picking up her own small martini and sipping at it. That shade of red went nice with it, made her look classy, it even left a mark of the glass.

"No, not tonight. I'll probably drink tomorrow, since we all know what tomorrow is," and I clapped my hands together to create emphasis.

"Oooh, you're going to watch _Rocky Horror Picture Show_, too?" Rachel asked, setting down her glass and making large eyes. Well, yeah, I was. It was coming on near the end of the night on AMC for some reason I didn't know.

"No…" I frowned a bit, actually surprised that she wouldn't even remember her own birthday.

"Then, why? What's tomorrow?"

"It's your birthday, Rachel," Santana scoffed, looking over at her in literal surprise. It was an expression that I don't remember the last time I saw on her face, except for maybe when Rachel put a twist at the end of a movie they had seen with walking on the theatre seats and making her own rendition of the finale song.

While wasted, if I must add.

"Today's the 17th?" She asked, looking in total awe at the revelation. She dug into her purse, pulling out her cell phone and grimacing at her own reflection, then clicked it on to see the date.

"Oh,"

"Yeah." I shook my head, laughing quietly to myself. Blaine patted my knee, chuckling along as Rachel just gawked at us. She was really quite adorable when she did that, not going to lie there.

"Why didn't I know it was my birthday? How come you guys did and I didn't what is this sorcery?" The ex-Berry asked in a long flow of words, and it only made me laugh harder. More like, how COULDN'T you know it was your birthday in no short of twenty-four hours?

Plus we had some big surprise we were planning for her, anyway.

"I'm turning twenty-two. I'm getting old," she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and just no I'm older than her. Rude. Very rude, Rachel!

"You are not, you're still a pretty little princess!" Blaine piped in, grinning from ear to ear. She seemed to brighten up as she drank the other half of her beverage, then sat it down and tapped the table.

"When. Does. Karaoke. Start?" She asked with each hit on the wood, making Santana roll her eyes and it was starting to become obvious that Rachel Lopez was not entirely Rachel Lopez.

And by that I mean she was tipsy and just needed to sing her heart out over something incredibly ridiculous. Hey, as long as it wasn't about her hair accessories, I'd be 100% all in for listening to her. Like I've said in the past, she's one of the best singers I had ever, ever heard.

"Karaoke has been on for like an hour now, Rach. Why don't you go?" Santana urged her, scooting from the seat to let her by.

"Taylor is stuck in my head now, thanks, guys!" And she scrambles off to the counters. She climbs on, which makes most people shut up.

Before she could even get the first few words up, some people had already caught on and were jamming out with bar-made instruments.

_"It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters,_

_And make fun of our ex's, uh uh, uh uh."_

As she sang this, she pulled the snapback off of a kid's head and tilted it onto her own, giggling.

_"It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight,_

_To fall in love with strangers, uh uh, uh uh."_

And then she pulled said kid up to her lips, but didn't kiss him. Nope, 'course not. She's so clever when she's tipsy.

_"Yeah,_

_We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time."_

She pushed him back down, now strutting on the bar counter. She slid on her knees, landing to be on the side of the stools and sitting on one.

_"It's miserable and magical._

_Oh, yeah!_

_Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines._

_It's time,"_

And then she went _real_ quiet. Like, almost dead silent, for half a second.

_"Uh oh!"_

And she kicked off her boot. Yep, it just went all the way across the bar. At least it didn't hit anyone, but then again, I was laughing much too hard to even care if it did.

_"I don't know about you,_

_But I'm feeling 22!_

_Everything will be alright,_

_If you keep me next to you!"_

She was tugging at Santana to come and join her now, since she had come up to go and join her anyway. Blaine was dragging me up to stand and dance with him, doing a small little cha-cha and giggling and laughing and just singing along, too.

_"You don't know about me,"_ off to some kid in the back.

_"But I'll bet you want to!_

_Everything will be alright,_

_If we just keep dancing like we're_

_22, ooh-ooh_

_22, ooh-ooh!"_

Wow she looked like she was having so much fun. I'm glad that even a drunk Rachel can still look awesome and sound amazing, what a gift.

She steps off from the counter, still singing as she pushes gently passed a bunch of people.

_"It seems like one of those nights,_

_This place is too crowded."_

_"Too many cool kids, uh uh, uh uh,"_ and Santana, Blaine and I whispered pretty low but still loud enough for people to hear_, "who's Rachel Berry anyway? Ew?"_

_"It seems like one of those nights,_

_We ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming_

_Instead of sleeping!"_

She took Blaine from me.

Like, literally stole him by the waist and was dancing with him now.

Come on.

Why me?

Why Blaine?

Why this?

But it was okay, I got to dance with her wife, so it's okay. I made gooey eyes at Santana just to make her laugh, which she did because I'm pretty damn funny, and spun her around.

_"Yeah,_

_We're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way,"_

_"It's miserable and magical._

_Oh, yeah..!"_

_"Tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks,_

It's time,"

Once again, she goes near dead silent before continuing in a loud_, "Uh oh!"_

_"I don't know about you,_

_But I'm feeling 22!_

_Everything will be alright_

_If you keep me next to you."_ She pulled Blaine on her hip, dancing side by side with him and swaying their pelvises to the left, then the right.

_"You don't know about me,"_ pointing off to a different minor this time.

_"But I'll bet you want to!"_

_"Everything will be alright,_

_If we just keep dancing like we're,_

_22, ooh-ooh,_

_22, ooh-ooh!"_

_I don't know about you,_

_22, ooh-ooh!_

_22, ooh-ooh."_

_"It feels like one of those nights," sang the whole bar._

_"We ditch the whole scene."_ Was Rachel.

_"It feels like one of those nights,"_

_"We won't be sleeping!"_

_"It feels like one of those nights,"_

_"You look like bad news."_ The brunette raised her finger to aim and stare directly at Santana and I.

_"I gotta have you,"_

_"I gotta have you!"_

It got kinda quiet then, the music morphing all hypnotic-like. I really liked it. Everyone would swing their fists into the air, almost perfectly in sync. Crazy.

_"Ooh-ooh,_

_Ooh-ooh, ye-e-e-e-eah, hey!"_

_"I don't know about you," (I don't know about you)_

_But I'm feeling 22!"_

_"Everything will be alright,"_

"_If you keep me next to you."_

_"You don't know about me!"_ (_You don't know about me_)

_"But I'll bet you want to."_

_"Everything will be alright,"_

_"If we just keep dancing like we're_

_22, ooh-ooh_

_22, ooh-ooh_

_22, ooh-ooh, yeah, yeah!_

_22, ooh-ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah!"_

It was really cute, seeing Rachel interact with a bar full of wasted teenagers. It was almost nostalgic, like she was Mister Shuester and all the rest of us were the Glee kids. Which gave me the spontaneous idea that would then make her entire birthday. Or, at least, kind've make her birthday. A little Skype call from Lima wouldn't hurt, right?

I'd do that when she was sober and not suffering from a really bad hangover.

_"It feels like one of those nights,"_

_"We ditch the whole scene!"_

_"It feels like one of those nights,"_

_"We won't be sleeping!"_

_"It feels like one of those nights,"_

_"You look like bad news,_

_I gotta have you,_

_I gotta have you!" _And she slid so her mouth was almost on Santana's, then giggled as applause broke out around everyone.

Knowing it was now midnight, Santana, Blaine and I all shouted at the top of our lungs,

_"Happy 22, Rachel Lopez!"_

_**Author notes:**_

_**This story is a collaboration with SantanaSnix.**_

_**Please Review!**_

_**Pezberry One-Shot or Multichapter? ( :**_


	2. Chapter 2 Tampons

Chapter 2 Tampons.

"Rachel, where the hell are my tampons?" Seriously fucking hell. Why is it every time it is my turn to ride the crimson tide I have no way of stopping up the dam.

"They are in the cabinet babe. I just bought you some the other day." Cabinet one…no tampons, cabinet two…same story.

"Rachel, they are not in here and I am about 10 seconds from gushing all over the floor and making our bathroom look like a scene out of CSI."

"Santana stop being so dramatic…I'm coming." Stop being dramatic. This coming from the drama queen herself. Who does she think she is? I'm not being dramatic. I just know that I am about to bleed to death and no one cares.

"I'm not being dramatic, I would just really like to stick one of those sons a bitches up there so that I can get dressed and go party with the wifey."

"Santana don't call me that again or you're not getting any for a week." Yeah like that's a threat, I am on the rag so there won't be any fight there. Damn mother-nature and her messing with my sexy times. I really need to find out who to contact with my complaints about this.

"Rachel, honey, sweetheart. I am sorry for calling you that I am just very frustrated at the moment." So what if I am apologizing. Just because I am off limits for 5-7 days down there does not mean that I want to be cut off for a week from her. That would really make this glorious time a fucking mess.

"Santana stop being a smart ass, they are right here, in the cabinet like I said." Seriously what the fuck who puts that kind of shit there. I mean really.

"Rachel honestly why the hell would you put tampons under the kitchen sink? How the hell would I know to look there?"

"Well I didn't want to put them in the bathroom because every-time I do Kurt uses them for his nose bleeds and you know how often he has those and it's getting expensive to have to buy them all of the time. So I just figured I would hide them."

"Well next time could you at least tell me where your hiding spot is? It is kind of one of those things I need to know, and what do you mean Kurt uses them for his nosebleeds, hasn't he ever heard of a tissue."

"Santana I'm sorry. Next time I will tell you where I put things, and Kurt says that our tampons stop the bleeding faster and they are soft."

"That is all I ask, and that boy is seriously fucked up, and that is being nice. Now can you please march your happy sexy ass back to the kitchen and get me the tampons so I can get cleaned up and we can get this night started."

"Why didn't you grab them when I showed you where they were?" Oh my God, this seriously should not be this hard. I mean yeah I should have stopped running my mouth and just grabbed my shit and took care of it but damn I am really trying to salvage my clothes here so I ran back to the bathroom.

"Fuck Rachel, please, I'll do anything." Well shit, I don't like that look she is giving me. Damnit what did I just get myself into.

"Anything?"

"Yes MI Amor. Anything." Damnit all to hell.

"Alright." Well with the way she is skipping out of here and smiling as big as she is, I must have agreed something to pretty fucking fantastic. I hope I enjoy the mystery as much as she does.

"Here you go baby."

"So what did I just agree to?" I hate that shit eating grin.

"You are going back to Lima with Blaine, Kurt and myself for a whole Glee reunion next week. It will be so much fun Santana, oh yeah and you are going to at least act like you are having fun and you have to be nice to everyone." Fuck I knew it would be something impossible like that. She is lucky that I am so in love with her or honestly I would probably bury her somewhere under Sue's so called corner. I can't believe I have to go back to Lima and not only that, I have to be nice. Snixx is sure as hell not going to like this.

"Really Rachel, that is pretty impossible and you know it."

"Do you love me?" What kind of question is that?

"What?" Okay I am confused now.

"I said do you love me Santana?"

"What the fuck Rachel, of course I do?" Seriously what kind of mind game is she playing right now? All of this over a damn tampon.

"Then nothing is impossible baby." Ohhh…okay I get it now. I wonder if Finn and Sam count in the whole being nice to everyone thing. I don't think I will ask.

_**Submitted By SantanaSnix**_

_**Please Review if you enjoy the Drabbles. **_


	3. Chapter 3 Hair Gel

Hair Gel.

If we're going to be going to Lima again for some Glee reunion I wasn't even aware of, then I need to definitely start gelling my hair back again unless I want to be called "Mister Broccoli Head" by Brit. That one time at prom was just really embarrassing, and I would die again if she brought that up.

Or called me the "new kid with a bad 'fro."

I remember the specifics.

Kurt often throws away my gel because he likes to see me without it. Although, what he doesn't know about, is my secret stash under a loose board near our bed.

Crossing over to said board, I knelt down to my knees and began to pry away at the small crack that would eventually give away to the small compartment within. Smirking deviously, I reached my hand into the hole and felt around for a while.

Dirt, Kurt's favorite fuzzy socks, and…

Wait.

No bottle.

No bottle of hair gel.

I sit back up, pushing the wood back into place and padding my way out into the hallway.

"Kurt?" I call out, receiving no answer. He must be out.

"Rachel?" Again, no answer. That means…

"Blaine, would you shut the Hell up so I can watch my God damn Facts of Life," I could hear the demon snarling from the living room and knew automatically that she was the only one home, and therefore was going to make fun of my wet, shaggy mushroom of hair when I walked out.

Deciding a shirt wasn't necessary in her presence, since she rarely was decent enough in our presence, I plodded out toward the couch where she was lounged out all comfy like in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. Pre-Menstrual attire, if I know the Berry-Lopez's.

"Whoa, someone forgot to flatten out the batter today, didn't they?" She snickers and I wanted to throw her out a window. It wasn't even that clever, but it still pissed me off.

"Have you seen my products?" I asked, gesturing towards the mop of drenched tangles covering my scalp. She chuckled a bit, pausing her show and moving to stand up.

Instead of even looking around, she immediately decided that it would be funny to ruffle at my hair and walk off to her room, closing the door behind her.

What type of bullshit was this, anyway?

"Santana!"

"Hold your horses, afro."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Why aren't I is the more… appropriate answer," and she returned with a bottle of her own stuff.

"Since when did you use gel?" I asked, almost timidly, turning the bottle in my hand as if it was the newest foreign object from some obscure country I'd never even heard of.

"Since I decided I needed it for some things." And by the sound of her voice, I knew this discussion was over.

So I reluctantly took the can back to my bathroom, opened it up, and smelled the strawberry scent.

Strawberry? That's a pretty unusual smell, even for Santana Lopez. This has got to be Rachel's.0

Tossing it in my hands, I gently rolled the jelly into my hair and played at it for several minutes until it was exactly how I wanted it to be. Washing my hands, I didn't even notice the dye sticking to it, nor did I notice the small transformation going on within the fibers of my locks.

Around dinner time, Santana hadn't said a single thing about my hair, at all. I unfortunately had to learn about the drastic change of colour from the one person I didn't think I ever wanted to know: Kurt.

"Blaine," he murmured, obviously trying to suppress a giggle as he entered through the loft with Rachel on his arm while I was setting the table.

"What did you do to your hair?"

"I gelled it. What does it look like?"

"You look like a clown!" Was Rachel's response, laughing a little bit loud even for her.

And that's when I darted to the closest mirror and made a manly scream because my hair was RED. Bright, bright red. Like blood or the colors of the walls in Satan's house…speaking of Satan….

"SANTANA!"

Chapter Submitted By LittleMadHattr

**Please review…**

Next Chapter… Someone keeps stealing Santana's Birth Control


	4. Chapter 4 Birth Control

Birth Control

"Rachel Barbra Lopez, did you take my birth control again?"

"Baby for the hundredth time in the last month, no I did not, I have my own you know."

What the fuck? I just got this new supply of birth control a week ago and it only has 10 days left. This is supposed to be a 30 day supply. Now of course I don't need to take birth control pills, well because of the obvious reason that I am a lesbian and unless Rachel grows a working dick…I am good.

I use them because it does fucking wonders for my skin. I mean yeah I don't want this flawless complexion going to hell and all. I work hard to keep these looks in check.

"Rachel I am missing 20 birth control pills."

"Santana I don't know what to tell you, I don't have them."

Fucking Fuckity Fuck.

"Rachel can I check your drawers just to make sure?"

"Sure baby, but ours are different colors. Mine are pink while yours are blue…I am sure that I didn't get them mixed up."

"I understand that Rachel but someone is blantantly stealing my beauty secret and I am pretty pissed off about it."

"Santana give me a minute and I'll help you look sweetheart."

After an hour of pretty much rummaging and tearing up the loft, Rachel and I came up empty handed. This actually gave me an idea…I bet I know exactly who took my "I want my skin to stay tight and not sag so I can keeps my girl pills."

I called in a favor to my Papi, who was very confused as to why I asked him to fill a certain prescription for me that I would never even have to use. I told him I wanted to help out a friend of mine who couldn't afford that specific medication…he told me how great of a daughter I was and that I better tell the wifey how much he loves her. He said the pharmacy should be able to fill it anytime…so I hung up the phone and called them and had the local pharmacy fill it.

"Rachel I need to go to the pharmacy, you wants to come."

"No sweetheart, go ahead. Did your dad call you in some more birth control?"

"Yeah, I just needs to go and pick it up."

"I will be right where you left me, cleaning up after Hurricane Santana."

"Thanks babe, I knew there was another reason why I married you."

"Whatever Santana, I'll see you in a bit."

It took me less than 20 minutes to get my new prescription filled. After a few smirks and a couple of eye rolls I was out the door and back to my nice clean home. I put my new supply back where my old supply was and waited things out.

"Honey what do you want for dinner?" I ask when Rachel walks in to the living room and plops her ass down on my lap.

"I've really been craving your vegan lasagna, but I'll eat anything?" She says with a sigh. She then moves to lay her head on my shoulder.

"Anything?" I quirk up my eye brows.

"SANTANA! Not now." She whips her head up and she rolls her eyes but I catch that smile on her face…oh yeah maybe not now but later is still a possibility.

"When are Lady Hummel and the long lost Jonas brother supposed to be home?"

"Anytime babe, I will help you get things started." She jumps off me and I smack her ass before we go into the kitchen and prepare dinner.

Two hours later everyone was home and we were getting ready to sit around the dining table and eat mine and Rachel's kickass dinner.

"Kurt dinner is ready." Blaine calls out when he is the only one not at the table…

"I…um…um…I'll be out in a minute." Kurt yells out…I can only smirk…I know what's going on.

"Hey Lady Lips, you okay in there…do you need a little help getting something down perhaps." I say with a smirk and Rachel gives me this look.

"Santana Marie Lopez, what the hell did you do?" There is that knowing look.

"I got to the bottom of something. That is it babe, no big deal."

"Kurt honey, come on, we are all hungry." Blaine yells out.

"Ok…um…just a minute." He say stammering over his words.

"Come ons Hummel, we's be hungry all up in here." I am trying now to laugh but it's really hard to keep it in.

"Santana I don't like this one bit. If you did something you better make sure he is okay." She scoffs and then waves her hand at me to go check on the roomie.

I get up as ordered and go down the hallway and turn into the area where our bathroom is. I knock on the makeshift door where Kurt is hiding behind.

"Hey Porcelain, you okay?"  
"Fine, Santana, I'll be out in a minute."

"You said that already…what's up?" I can't help but laugh out loud. He opens the door slowly.

"I um…can you turn around please."

"Why, it's not like I haven't seen your pasty boy parts before when you and broccoli head in there forgot to close your bedroom curtains. Totally scarred me for life asshole."

"Shut up Santana and just turn around." I do as I am told and walk back to the dining room with Kurt eerily close behind me.

"Hey Kurt, you okay?" Rachel says with a worried look.

"Yah just a little under the weather I think." He finally slips from behind me and sits down in his seat.

"You sure babe, we can skip dinner if you would like." Blaine asks.

"No I…I…I'm okay." Kurt says.

So I can't take it anymore. I am in full on laughter now. I knew that little fucker was stealing my shit…okay it's time to confront the thief.

"So...uh Kurt, is there anything that you would like to tell me?" I say with my signature smirk.

"No…no…I don't think so Santana…I am just going to eat dinner and head off to bed."

"Are you sure there Lady Hummel?" He gives me a pleading look. I think he knows that I know.

"Santana what's going on with you and Kurt?" Rachel asks.

"Nothing I didn't already take care of baby." I tell her and peck her lips.

"Santana Lopez, you better tell me what is going on or you will be getting none of this for the rest of the week." She gestures to her beautiful body. Fuck…I can't give that up. I gots to come clean.

"Well it seems that Mr. Hummel over there has a bit of what I like to call PPP…a pick pocketing problem. You see my dear wife, I believe that I have found the person that has been taking my birth control. Why he would take it, I don't know." He looks at me horrified and I just keep on with my smirk and keep talking.

"You see Lady Lips. I don't jive well when people go through my things, well accept for my lady love...but that is different. It is only acceptable for me to rummage through the drawers and the closets in this home. Now, everyone around here knows that Rachel and I clearly do not need to use birth control unless one of you little boys wants to try to jump on our naughty bits and we can start our own little gay community…but in all reality…not going to happen. We use the wonderful little blue and pink pills to keep our skin looking absolutely flawless…and when you decided to steal from my body, you deprived my skin of its daily care for 20 days. So I merely wanted to teach you a lesson."

"What are you saying Santana?" Rachel says with an almost smile now…she knows that I am up to no good, but she also knows I would never hurt anyone intentionally.

"Alls I am saying is that Mr. Hummel there tried to steal from me again tonight and I taught him a little lesson…Lopez style."

"So what was is that I took, if it wasn't your birth control?" He looks at me horrified again and I give him my evil HBIC grin…

"Hahaha…Viagra, you little bitch…"

_**Author Notes…**_

Sorry this popped in my head one day and I had to write it down..,

_**Please review…**_

The reunion is next…Pezberry, Klaine style.


	5. Chapter 5 Auditions

All I heard was the door shut and my name being called from the loft door. Looking up, I watched as Rachel and Kurt made their grand entrance, both looking particularly irritated with one another.

Rachel called out for Santana, although she wasn't home. A double shift tonight at the Coyote Ugly, much to her own dismay but Kurt's weird happiness. Though right now, he wasn't happy.

"What's wrong?" I asked, setting a pot on the burner as I started to heat up spaghetti sauce. Wrong move, Blaine, I thought as they both erupted into a mumbled mess of something that had to do with Wicked.

That's all I could make out, at least.

"One at a time!" I shouted over them, though I had to repeat myself several times until they actually both shut up.

"Rachel, what happened?"

"It's all Kurt's fault!" She swore, speaking fluidly and pointing right at a stunned and whispering, "My fault?" Kurt Hummel.

"I was on stage, right?" I nodded. "And, and Kurt was backstage!" I nodded again. "I was starting to sing Defying Gravity, trying to get the part for Wicked of Ephaba, and he totally walked out and stole my spotlight!" This is when I threw a slightly agitated look at Kurt.

"Well, she wasn't singing the chords right and actually took my audition number!" Was his argument.

"But since we started quarreling on stage, they kicked us out. Kicked us out! I was on /Funny Girl/, Blaine. And they kicked me out," Rachel looked exasperated and like she was going to burst at any second and that's when I wished Santana WAS there.

"Well, maybe if you learned to wait your turn, you wouldn't have been." Kurt mumbles, but loud enough so she could hear.

"Excuse you? Like you have any room to talk! That audition…" that's basically when I zoned out of the argument for the night. Eating dinner silently, even when they asked for input. I'm pretty sure I pissed Kurt off, especially since he went to bed without saying goodnight.

When Santana came home, though, I had to intervene. She was opening a bottle of Snixx, much to my and Rachel's dismay, upon my man and that wasn't a thing I was going to let happen anytime soon!

Pushing past both of the women, I actually shoved Santana almost into a wall on my attempt to get her to calm down. She wasn't helping the situation; Kurt looked like he could cry.

Hell, somethings Santana was saying wasn't even true.

"Diva."

"Stealin' parts."

"Thief."

"Untalented swine", which really pissed me off and caused me to shove her in the first place.

I kinda… blacked out? And don't remember the rest.

I just remember waking up sometime at about nine that next day with a black eye and my head throbbing like I hit a swing set or something.

Kurt told me later that Santana punched me right in the right eye, causing me to hit the coffee table. What a drag.

We didn't talk for a while either.

But, when she finally did, it was with a smirk.

"Black is totes your thing, maybe I can add some more?"

That whole fiasco was about a week ago, so the black eye was slowly starting to get back into the normal shade it should be. And I owed it all to Santana, for punching me in the first place.

Threatening to punch you again really does something to a person, doesn't it? Huh.

Anyway, around now was when we were starting to pack up and get things situated up in New York for our stay in Lima for the Glee reunion. So far, we only knew that it was going to be us, Quinn, Mercedes, Artie, Finn and Puck. There's the possibility that Brittany can make it with Lord and Lady Tubbington, along with Sam, but there's no definite answer for the two of them.

I'm personally most excited to see Mercedes and Finn. I really want Tina to come, too, but I heard that Mike and she might not be able to make it, what with their wedding planning, but they're going to try their best.

Kurt and I are excited to see a lot of people, but I think Rachel is starting to feel the nostalgia just thinking about going back. They really hadn't seen anyone since their wedding two years ago, except for Quinn and Brittany, who spend the birthdays with them.

Singing in the Rain was playing on the TV the day we started packing, which only brought on more memories as we dancing around to our old mash-up we had done with Mr. Shue and Holly Holiday in second year. We sang, danced, and kicked around pillows to make it seem like the rain we had been originally using.

I was second done, Santana and I were just waiting for Rachel and Kurt before we headed to the airport. Had I known we were going to be there for so long I would've packed more clothes! But, we assumed three days at the most.

So three days, starting now, we had anticipated with the rest of our extended family.

_**Please review!**_

_**I'm so sorry this is short and kinda delayed, I lost inspiration about halfway through.**_

_**Drabble written by ~LittleMadHattr.**_


	6. Chapter 6 Fantasies

Chapter 5

"Rachel, tell me again why I am on this train heading back to the one place that I spent my entire lifetime trying to get away from."

"Because there is a big Glee reunion and I want to see how everyone is doing?"

"Okay, babe I understand why YOU want to go, but that doesn't explain where I fit in to this whole thing?"

"Well number 1, my love you lost the bet, and number 2 you are my wife which means you support me in everything that is important to me just as I do you…and this is important to me."

"I just don't get it Rachel, we are going to spend a whole week with Chang squared, Wheels, Britt, Q-Ball, Trouty, Zizes, Fuckerman, Aretha, Schuester, Broccoli Head, Lady Hummel and the Big Oaf, and you are excited about this?"

"Well yeah babe, and I want to show you off."

"Show me off. What the hell for. I ain't no fucking 4-H project of yours."

"Santana calm down, that is not what I meant."

"Well what did you mean then Rachel?"

"I just meant that I am more than excited to walk into this Glee reunion with the most beautiful girl that ever graced the halls of McKinley High School on my arm."

"Seriously babe, you think I am going to buy that?"

"And maybe something else."

"And what might that be?"

"Maybe I had a little fantasy back in high school that I would really like to play out…that's all."

"Little fantasy huh."

"Yeah just a small one."

"Why didn't you play it out in high school?"

"Because I didn't have you back then and the fantasy involved you."

"Keep talking."

"I'm just saying that maybe this Glee reunion was a good excuse to get you back to Lima in order to fulfill this certain item on my fantasy list."

"So there is no Glee reunion. Hey and what do you mean you have a fantasy list?"

"Stay with me here Santana. Yes, I have a fantasy list and yes there is a Glee reunion, but I might not be as excited to see them as I may be to fulfill this certain item on this list of mine."

"Oh I get it, so I am your toy."

"No you're my wife."

"Same difference. So fill me in a bit here."

"I don't need to, you will be FILLED in plenty later baby."

"Okay so maybe this Glee reunion bullshit doesn't sound so bad after all."

Please_** REVIEW**_


	7. Chapter 7 Toy Store

_**Chapter 7 Toy Store**_

"Rachel would you stop messing with the fucking buttons…you are like a kid in a damn toy store." I know that came out really bitchy…but damn.

"Um Santana we are in a toy store and Rachel kind of has to press those so that we can get off of this elevator." Kurt says with a raised brow.

"Whatevs. Whose idea was it to bring Rachel in here anyway?" I ask.

"Baby it was mine because I want to get a couple things for Sugar and Finn's son and Mike and Tina's daughter." She says with her big smile. It's really hard to try to be irritated when she gives me that look.

"I have some ideas." I smirk.

"What kind of ideas baby?" Rachel questions.

"Well for child Chang we can get her a Kung Fu video because Mike can't fight for shit and Tina is…well Tina." I happily say.

"Santana, just because their Asian doesn't mean they are going to teach their kid Kung Fu." Kurt chimes in.

"I know I just figured with two strikes already against her in the parenting department, she might as well be able to defend herself."

"Wow Santana, you are really a bitch today."

"Thanks Blaine, I try."

"I don't even want to know what your idea is for Finn's son." Rachel adds, gripping my hand.

"Oh well this one was easy."

"And what's that Santana?" Kurt looks at me with a disgusted, yet intrigued look.

"A spoon or a straw, so when Finn lactates his custard from his disgusting pyramid nipples, the kid will get some nutrition in his little body. He is way too skinny if you ask me."

"Well Santana, good thing nobody asked you."  
"Fucking whatevs Kurt, you are just jealous because you didn't come up with those amazingly awesome ideas on your own." I smirk and he sticks his tongue out at me…he's so grown up.

"Santana, baby as much as I love you, your ideas for this particular shopping trip really suck. So I am going to have to override them and go with what I originally planned."

"And what is that MI Princessa?" I ask her.

"Well for little Aurora Chang I was thinking a beautiful pink studded microphone, because every little girl wants to be a singer one day. And for little Jackson Hudson, I thought of getting him a drum set so he can learn to play like his dad."

"Great ideas Rachel." Blaine and Kurt say at the same time…There was only one thing I could think to say.

"Lame." Rachel looks at me and scoffs.

"Well Santana, not all of us want to choose gifts that mock people."

"Please baby, my gifts were awesome. Maybe we can just buy two gifts a piece and we will just have to see who likes whose gift more."

"You're on." Rachel puts her hand out to shake mine.

"May the winner be blessed with multiple mind blowing orgasms until said winner a.k.a. myself, says that you can be done."

"Don't be so sure my Latin beauty."

"Well I guess that means it is a Pezberry game on."

"Shut the fuck up Kurt and stop calling us that. We are not a fucking candy fruit."

_**Author Notes.**_

_**Not too sure where this came from? **_

_**Maybe came from the Nyquil induced day that I had yesterday.**_

_**Anyway more to come…**_

_**Hope you enjoy. **_


	8. Chapter 8 Daddy Talk

Chapter 8 Daddy Talk

After Rachel and Santana's little feud in the toy store, Kurt and I decided to wander around a bit. Having no idea what we were looking for we held hands and walked around in the baby area talking.

That's when I saw it. The most adorable thing since seeing Kurt and Santana cat napping together on the plane to Nationals…A little fuzzy haired toddler in a tiger onsie, desperately attempting to run away from his bushy haired father, or maybe just running away from the grown-up he was with.

At the same time Kurt and I shared an "awh" in his direction. At first, I think Kurt was reacting to the onsie itself.

Me, the whole scene jostled me.

Walking passed hand in hand I made a startling discovery, and then it flew out of my mouth before I could even think.

"Kurt, I want kids."

Chapter Written By: LittleMadHattr


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